I would first like to clarify, that I can give no other name to this. It isn't poo, it isn't crap, it isn't faeces, it is pure and simple shit. I so far, have been lucky enough only to have a mere sample of what could possibly be to come. But I have decided a post of this kind is appropriate if you are to get as much understanding as possible of my time in India. Because talking about shit is a common occurrence. I would be so blunt as to say around 70% of our time we talk about it. After one meal out at 'Legends of India' restaurant we were queuing for the loo when one poor girl came running at me so fast I though she was going to take me out as she slammed shut the loo door. I should mention I wasn't able to use the loo for the next half an hour. But it's nothing new and I have come to think nothing of it. We have a system in our room, whereby if we are having, aptly called 'toilet time'.... we can put the shower on, the extractor fan, the TV, the air conditioning and the fan,.... and then we can let rip.
There is also a scam, called 'the poo man scam' .... whereby a man will squirt some shit on your shoe, and then will offer to clean it off at the tidy some of Rs 100. .... this has created a rather dramatic paranoia within our group, especially for the few that wear open toe sandals!
I shall keep you updated on my bowel movements however. As it is the theme of many jokes. I am just really dreading the day when I leave the hostel wearing my white linen trousers and I feel that rumbling of thunder from within which gives a warning that something much greater is on its way. You must note hear, that my fear is not irrational when I tell you there are very few, if any toilets around, and if you manage to find one it will be a hole in the ground with a small bucket of water by the side. As Indians do not use western loos.
There is also a scam, called 'the poo man scam' .... whereby a man will squirt some shit on your shoe, and then will offer to clean it off at the tidy some of Rs 100. .... this has created a rather dramatic paranoia within our group, especially for the few that wear open toe sandals!
I shall keep you updated on my bowel movements however. As it is the theme of many jokes. I am just really dreading the day when I leave the hostel wearing my white linen trousers and I feel that rumbling of thunder from within which gives a warning that something much greater is on its way. You must note hear, that my fear is not irrational when I tell you there are very few, if any toilets around, and if you manage to find one it will be a hole in the ground with a small bucket of water by the side. As Indians do not use western loos.
Hello there G,
ReplyDeleteA quick wee tip from yer auld Auntie.
Terminology such as "Squits" or "Herschy Squirts" are a tad more palatable and likely to keep you a more healthy and growing readership! Remember... I'll be watching you, wherever you are! ;)
Love, Bye! Kx
After your mum's cooking, and then a year of self catering, I thought your bowels would be stronger than that :)
ReplyDeleteHi Kay. Yes you are probably right. Language such as "squits" or "herschy squirts" may be more appropriate. Unfortunately that would not adequately do whatever comes out enough justice. As mentioned earlier in the post there really cannot be any other name for it. Although Indians do not appreciate cursing, they have seemed relatively understanding of the word 'shit', if you said to them for example 'I need a poo'... it is unlikely to work at the speed or understanding of the former. I hope you understand. xxx
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